Hello friends, Good Morning!! After Prayer and Meditation, I decided to take a “Break” from the phone,the T>V>(big step for me)lol.I thought I would “do my fall” Cleaning..(only indoors)Also,It’s time to think about the “Holiday’s..Therefore, I got out all (Cleaning Supplies) and began vacuuming,washing window’s,mopping, and cleaning the light dust from photo’s, after a hour or more,suddenly,I felt I needed a change in my home.Thus, I decided to rearrange my furniture,moving the sofa,to a new place,Right along the Focal*,wall.Over head hangs a 16×20 Portrait of our Family.Yes, this is where you belong my beautiful sofa…..My 12 ft.palm plant,was next, I found Just the spot for it.Now, where are you going my Comfy,soft,sunken over-sized chair??? This is my Chair* (so comfty) it  has never been by the stairs,(let’s see) how that will look???great!!!!!..I sat for a moment,I felt the need to just remain QUITE*. As, (I went back over* secret’s and heart-ache’s (MVL)* shared with me on yesterday, It was Intense…) I was (Caught) off guard!!!!! As well, I felt such* a heavy burden in my soul late yesterday evening ,now, I’m feeling it once again..I sat down,laid back in my comfty chair,closing my tired eyes,(Now Relaxed!!!!) I, pondered,why things are the way they are..Do we make our own Happiness? I’m I interfering with my destiny? Why does it seem like everyone else appears happy and content,when I feel so alone? Will,life offer me new resources? Will/Should I make the move to Illinois,where my F-I-L, has left us well taken care of upon his passing,Sadly, the Drs. have given him only weeks,he is Terminally ill..I love my FIL,this is very sad…We do a lot of Praying.. I would be leaving, my family here?? At times,I feel I have done my “VERY BEST” but, it’s just not*enough!!! I looked at my phone tonight,however,there was NOT ONE,person,I felt safe enough to call,or express feelings of betrayal,loss,hurt,and total confusion.Father,I could only call out the name of “Jesus” in my time of complete and utter sadness.I felt I have done ‘MY VERY BEST’ yet, it just doesn’t seem to be enough,to reach a point of fulfillment.I have lost a really true long-time friend,we pledged, Friends Forever..BBF..Do I talk to much??? are my feelings,too easily hurt??Should I stop trying to be nice,kind,giving of compliments,Yet,Never, receiving any!!! Is there something about me that’s unlikable?? After, crying for what seemed like hours,I caught my breath,and began to call on the name of Jesus..for, I felt just that unhinged..What a sad emotion it proved to be….After,about an hour, I gently wiped away hurt,raw,deep, emotions,from years and years ago,it was as if the years were nothing more than days,yet,showing it self as years?? Why I asked??Do I carry around an invisible mark?sign? some dark force,that even I’m not aware of?? as I washed the last window over my sink,I felt better,for, the window was so clear,it was as if I could put my hand straight through it and never feel a pain,as well,no blood. Which surely,I would/should have felt by forcefully thrusting my hand right into the sharp glass..Yet.I chose not to entertain such a careless act.I chose instead to finish rearranging my furniture,suddenly,feeling my help coming on..Crying,at times can be helpful,the salty tears,release tension,frustration,and toxins…Sorrowful,feelings that has been building for days,months, now…..GO on have a Good CRY,then get up,wash your face,all the while,thanking our Father for his Mercy,and Grace,get up,and take a walk around the block,stop to inhale the fresh air…It will be over in the morning,Amen&Amen..finish what you started..Complete the task you began,,For me, It’s completing my living room and kitchen,the new Change,makes such a difference,everything looks New….Even,when you feel you’ve done YOUR VERY BEST,don’t give up press on…Believe,Trust,for, Joy comes in the morning…ALL IS WELL… blm1957……Peace. As told to me by a good friend..thanks..MVL…Blessings to you….(BTW: I realize my title* should of  read,”WHEN YOU’VE DONE,YOUR VERY BEST” I know, I just felt like going (Ole School) lol..let Me be Me!!!! lol..Love 2 U.


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